BE STRONG

YOU DID NOT BREAK ME

A letter to the man who tried to destroy me, tried to take away my strength by using his own.

You thought that because you were bigger and stronger than me, that you could use that against me, like a true bully you did just that.

You took advantage of a girl who was sad, when she just needed someone to see that sadness and pain and protect her from the demons of the night; yet you saw it as an opportunity to rob her of her dignity and self-worth, you were the demon in the shadows,  that I needed protection from.

 You made me hate myself, and drew me further away from the world and made me close my heart off to ever letting anyone in, you made it harder to trust anyone.

You hurt me, in more ways than I have ever been hurt, you treated me like I was some small insignificant being that deserved no respect, and you might as well have spat on my face when you were done.

Hiding this secret from the people who were important to me, because I was ashamed, I felt like it was my fault. That somehow I had done this to myself, and I hated myself for ever having been there that night, for not being for observant to realizing that my drink was spiked. I did not want the people that I loved most in the world to hate me too.

But by hiding it I was giving you power, you were winning because I was no longer the strong woman I had always been. You had made me weak, you made me scared to believe in people and I lived in fear.   Speaking out gave me my strength back

The hardest part was when I had to see you in town, having you act like you had never met me before, like I was a stranger.  Well guess what, you have met me, and now I am your demon. You cannot wash away what you did with a smile. You might be able to fool the world around you but I know that you truly are a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I may have been victimized, but I tell you now I am no victim. I am a warrior and I will prevail, with every tear I shed writing this, with every thought of self blame that I have to push away, you will become a memory of a time in life when I had find my inner strength.

For months I hid behind a fake smile and wall that nobody could penetrate, I hid from the truth thinking that if I hid for long enough, my demons would never find me and that I could eventually come out again. But those demons are your own, and until you face them you will forever be only a shell of the woman you really are. Come out of hiding and let us all stand together and face our demons, tell someone anyone, Start somewhere, until you talk about it, it will eat you alive. Some people may fall out of your life, and other will embrace you tighter, knowing that you just need a love and support

To end a letter to the man who thinks he destroyed me. You have not, you have made me into the strong woman I am, the woman who knows she can make it through any of life’s challenges.

You are no longer in the shadows, you are no longer a demon that plagues my nightmares and makes me cry. You are nothing more than a bad memory; you are your own demon now.

I forgive you for what you did. Whatever the reason was, you have to deal with it now. I no longer want this to be a burden in my life. I will live my life in happiness, with a man who loves me in spite of what happened to me, because it made me the strong independent woman I am.

You did not break me.

Ladies, if any of you feel like you have nowhere to turn, you have so many people who love you. You are beautiful and worthy of such love, do not ever think you are not worthy, or that you don’t deserve to be loved. What happened is not your fault and if anything we deserve to be loved more, because we will appreciate it so much. The hurt souls in the world have more compassion and we will love harder.

Speak out, be brave and have courage.

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