Today I received quite a shock while reading the Cape Times. In the classified section, you would assume to find career options or car sales, heck even pets, but what did I see? Escorts, Asian, Japanese and African open minded professional escorts disguised as masseuses. I was shocked, who actually answers these ads? Further more, who would put an ad like this in a newspaper?  Has it become okay for women to sell their bodies? I know that t has been around for a while, but I never thought that it was that open. And that the girls would be so young, 18 to 19 years of age. What makes a person stoop to that level, has self respect gone straight out the window? I hope not, because then it has become okay for young girls to treat their bodies like nothing, and to allow guys to treat them like dirt. Your body is your temple and we should be following that. these ads should not be allowed. Imagine your daughter says that one day she wants to be an escort. Media plays a big role in what our children see and yes I know I would get so irritated when my parents would lecture me on morals, but they are right and youngsters need to listen to the older generation, we are not trying to ruin your life as you would say, we just know a bit more than you

Men

The topic of the male species has always been something women will spend hours pondering over. Can we ever actually find a solution to their madness? No! And we never will, they are always right and what they say goes, for some reason. It is like they are stuck in the old ages and think that just because we are female we are stupid and our opinions mean nothing to them. They expect us women to jump whenever they say something or ask us to do something even if we are in the middle of something, this is something that really frustrates me. Why I wonder, why do men treat us like dogs and then say they love us and miss us when we are not with them.  My mother always told me told me to be careful not to become a housewife, because they are unappreciated and that I will soon be expected to have dinner on the table by six, I swore I would never be like that, but you know it more that women prefer the bedroom to be neat, yes it is easy to say," No I will not clean up." But then who has to be bothered with the mess every time you walk in the door, it is not going to be your male partner, we cook and clean because if we didn't, if we left it to men, there would never be food in the fridge and the house would be a pig sty, there would never be clean clothes or fresh sheets on the bed.

Woman were once seen and not heard, they were expected to know their place in society,never allowed to wear revealing clothes or work, the men were the bread givers. Just imagine how boring life would be, college wasn't a place that you went to study, finishing school was the place for young girls, here they learnt how to cook, clean and throw dinner parties that would satisfy any husband. Imagine never being able to wear short skirts or bikinis ever again, I am so glad we no longer live in the age where men basically controlled our lives, they still seem to think they have a hold on us, but times have definitely changed. Just think about it, we no longer have to marry somebody if we don't want to, and most of the time woman can do a man's job, if not better. We now have female pilots and engineers, the possibilities for women are endless. Before today the meer thought of doing a man's job was frowned upon, take Amelia Earhart for example, she was the first female pilot. That could not have been easy, and Joan of Arc, who led France into battle and did what every man wished, for this she was burnt at the at the stake and only years later was found to be innocent. Woman that were powerful were frowned upon, I think this was because men were scared, they knew that women could do things better than them, and they wanted to be the ones holding the power, and women to be the weak ones.

For 72 years, women fought for the right to vote. Their struggle came to an end in 1920 when the 19th Amendment was passed. It may have been the first step towards ending discrimination, but it was still the beginning of many struggles to come. The ideal role of women was to get married, have kids, and stay home to keep the house in order, and leaving the men to run the country and corporations and be the head of the household. Women set out to step out of the norm and go against the general agreement that women belonged at home.

 

Still today it is frowned upon when a working mother will hire a nanny. Yes it is important for a mother to spend time with her child, but our ancestors worked hard for our freedom, why would we want to go back instead of forward. So many of my friends let men rule their life, and they don't wear skirts, they cook and clean for them, I refuse, one thing I can thank my mother for is that she taught me how to be a real woman and respect myself, and by doing that men respect me and don't treat me like their slave. Now if a girl knows how to change a car tire she is considered " awesome" if she knows cars and what engine a car has just by listening to it, she is so cool. Bad ass girls like girls in Fast and Furious are what most guys dream about, but have things really changed that much? Men still like to marry the good girl, so in one respect being a girl who knows her cars is good, but remember to cook Sunday Roast and have it on the table by six.

Weekend update

after the weekend I have had I seriously need a holiday, first Friday was one of the most emotional days ever. Saturday started out to be a great day, our boys won the match and everything seemed great, but as my mother always says, "the universe will always test you and that everything needs to have balance, you cannot live life and have everything be great and nothing upset you." So the universe must have really wanted to test us, because we, well rather my boyfriend, reversed into a to a poll, yes a pole, now you may think that it is juts a small dent, well let me correct you, it is huge, and looks horrible.

 I was shaking and my boyfriend was shocked that such a small pole could do so much damage. Then Sunday also started out great, had a lovely breakfast and then went for a braai, and dadadadum.. the universe wanted to test me again, this time by making my boyfriend say tell me something out of the blue which turned my day upside down, and then to match the day I was having the weather went grey and cold and windy as hell, which led to a baby bird falling out of a tree, extremely adorable bird but dumn as shit.

So today is Monday and so far it seems to be an okay, I just want to curl up to some hot chocolate and a good movie. ( sigh) a person can dream. 

Family

You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family. That saying is too true, and sometimes it can infuriate you.You know that you will always love them but sometimes you just want to scream. like when you ask a question and everything but the question is answered. Or you are just meant to know that they want you to do something, or when you are not invited along. sometimes a person needs to be told things.

My family is the most important thing in my life. My mother is like my best friend and I miss her everyday, My Dad is the best, there is no man on this earth better then him. my siblings have their moments when I want to kill them but all in all I would never trade them for anything in the world.
We laugh and cry and sometimes fight like cats and dogs, but at the end of the day we are always there for each other, we are like a pack of wolves and of anybody messes with one of us, the rest will  defend.

When everything around me seems to be falling to pieces my mother is always there to pick me up. I love her to death and I know that she will always be on my side. She is my biggest fan and biggest defender. My dad would kill anybody that hurt me and my older brother has often 

protected me 

My brothers Girlfriend Evelyn is like sister to me, she is as much part of our family as anyone, she is always there for me and we love her to death. I know that all teenagers think family is just there to boss and tease you, but the truth is that they love you so much that they only want the best for you. 

We have so many good times together, we can just wake and decide that today is going to be the best day and we make it that way. 

Family doesn't always been that you have to be blood related, my boyfriend family is always so good to me and they are like a second family to me and I love them.

My sister has always spoilt me and sometime she can be over protective but I know she loves me. 

Always remember that as much as family can irritate you and make yo so mad, they will always be there for you , and also keep in mind that as much as they irritate you, you may also irritate them. Love them and show that you love them, because one day they may not always be there for you. If you don't have family then you don't have anybody. 

Fitting into new jeans

OMG fitting into new jeans is so hard, I thought I was so fat, my boyfriend just laughed. I finally managed to get into them, they just needed to stretch a bit, but it made me think of that special K advert, how do you fit into new jeans or jeans that just don't fit. do you lye down on the bed, or wet them. Somebody at work said I must sleep in them lol. All the craziest things ever.

 Once I was able to get them on I was so terrified that they were going to rip lol and my bum was going to be on display for everyone at work. I was about to go on a starvation diet. I think we all have this fear of being classed as a fat person, but I think we need to feel comfortable in our skin.

I have found that some make of jeans are smaller than they say, and you shouldn't go by a label's size,go by what feels right. I hate seeing girls try fit into smaller sizes. I hate thinking that I am fat. But really, who cares I know I have curves, but I look good and I have a boyfriend who loves me.

Friends

"What is a friend? A single soul, dwelling in two bodies" - Aristotle

Friends, what does this word mean to you? To some a friend is a person that will always be there for you, to others it is a person you know very well and occasionally see. For others it is a person that becomes part of you and you feel like this person is you sister/brother. You let them in and tell them everything, completely trusting them.Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person. It is when you do not have to weigh your thoughts and measure words, before keeping it forth before your friend. It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assures to be your side in every emotional crisis. It is when you can sleep fighting and get another morning with a better understanding. Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments, it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phase of life. Friendship is eternal.Or so I thought, almost every friend I thought I had in High School no longer speaks to me, and I have even had some telling me to not send them wall posts on Facebook, like they are ashamed of having me as a friend, I will send a friend a BBM message and get WTF back, what ever happened to being genuine person, I have one friend left and I hope this one lasts. I thought that when somebody is your friend you don't just forget about them, you try as hard as possible to stay in contact with that person. I have been used and walked all over, I have had friends spread rumours and desert me when I needed them the most, and I still forgave them, how is that possible? I am really angry that people can be so thoughtless. I am a good friend, anybody that knows me will know that, I have travelled late at night for friends when they really needed me, and this is the thanks I get.... Unbelievable.

sex on a plate

I like to believe in the power of certain foods to evoke lust. But really, it's not what you eat that is sexy, it's the way you eat it. While some must ply their partners with oysters and asparagus to guarantee attention, others need do nothing more than slowly lick a stray crumb from their lower lip. Sure, the way Ally McBeal sips her travelling cappuccino with her bee-stung lips is bordering on the X rated, but if her altogether cooler pal Ling Woo was to do it, we may well be into the realms of pay per view. Bluntly, you have either got it or you haven't.The list of aphrodisiac foods is longer than you might think, but they fit loosely into one of three categories. Those that contain natural stimulants such as the phenylalanine in chocolate, those that are sensuous in the mouth such as oysters and ripe figs, and those to which legend is attached. While chillies and ginger firmly get my vote, others swear by broad beans and brazil nuts. I have heard applause too for avocados (phenylalanine again) and porridge (oats are thought to raise testosterone levels). Yet studies by Dr Alan Hirch at the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago have shown that nothing gets a guy up like the smell of freshly baked pumpkin pie.

Cardamom does it for some - and with good reason. The little black seeds contain not only two androgens (the hormones that increase sexual desire in men) but cineole, a compound known to stimulate the central nervous system. Ginger, a close relative, is the food world's Viagra. I only found this out recently, long after I took to putting a slice in my early-morning hot water and lemon. True, I had been feeling a warm glow, but hadn't made the connection. Fortunately scientists now have. Forget sirloin - you really can't go wrong with chillies and ginger.

You also feel sexy when you eat certain foods, like strawberries and whipped cream, simply biting into the juicy fruit and having your partners eyes on you, a bit of cream is left on your top lip and you have to lick of off, us girls do not realise that while we are simply eating,we are in fact driving men crazy. So yes there are certain foods that are suppose to make us more lustful but it is the way we eat them, I mean I for one would not find it hot if Ian Somerhalder was eating like a pig, it is the way you do things that make you sexy.  So next time you are on a date, remember to eat like your a goddess and make eye contact while eating, trust me it does wonders

Reference
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2002/feb/10/shopping.familyandrelationships2
:)

Bikini Ready

We are not all lucky enough to have the perfect body, but we can all wear bikinis and still look good, trust me I have only just started to love my body and it was not easy but it is the first step.

Not everyone wears a bikini because not everyone is confident with the way she looks. A bikini is said to be reserved only for those who have a very good body, but this is far from the truth. You can always choose to wear a bikini if you want to. It's just a matter of having confidence in yourself that you can actually pull it off. Unfortunately for a lot of people, this confidence is very difficult to attain. Wearing a bikini in broad daylight becomes a nightmare for them.



First thing's first. You have to know that all of us have bodily flaws. It's only a matter of concealing these flaws using the appropriate style of bikini. There may be little fabric used in all of those bikini styles, but they surely have enough fabric in their designs to conceal these flaws. Ask your salesperson what he/she could recommend you. Otherwise, if you are still bothered about your shape and yet you want to wear a bikini, then maybe you could just put on a scarf to conceal most of your body.

If you're still bothered about your own look, then just take a look around and you will see that most people actually have some flaws out there in their bodies even if they try to hide them. This should give you the confidence and the idea that nobody is perfect, even though media shows like some people really are perfect. Add to this the idea that nobody really looks at the bodies of people who wear bikinis. Yes, some men may actually ogle at good-looking women in these outfits, but in general, people are also worried about what they look in the beach that they have no time to criticize you.

Finally, just enjoy your time at the beach. Think not about your bikini and concentrate on your food, your cocktail, or your tan instead. There are far more interesting things to worry about than your bikini, alright?
The only way to feel less conspicuous is to have a fake tan applied by a professional the day before you go on holiday. One lady arrived at our pool with a velour zippy and denim skirt on – and all eyes followed her to find out what she was hiding! A fake tan also allows you to tan sensibly rather than stay in the sun too long on the first few days.

Remember dark colours diminish, light colours accentuate: so if you have any body bits that you’d rather not highlight a tan helps to stop the attention immediately going to these areas. This was very apparent in France where, contrary to the claims of author Mireille Guilli

ano, French women do put on weight. However, this doesn’t stop them from wearing bikinis, and their tanned skin and joie de vivre takes the attention up to their animated faces - confidence is definitely the best accessory for swimwear.

Shapes of swimwear do make a difference. Ensure that you can adjust the straps of your bikini to raise your bust making it looking more pert and youthful, as well as lengthening your torso. This can be done with both a halterneck that ties or adjustable straps, but not a strapless top so don’t consider this style of top unless you’re quite flat-chested and don’t need the support. Straps should be situated on the outer aspect of the bust, not from the middle which doesn’t support the full shape of the bust.

When considering the bottom half of your bikini, think of your favourite jeans and where their waistline sits. Chances are this is where your bikini bottom should sit also. For instance I find that people who carry more weight in their hips or upper thighs feel more comfortable wearing low rise jeans, but clients who carry extra weight in the abdominal area feel better wearing higher waistbands. Similarly the low slung bikini bottom will work with a rounder bottom and bring attention to a slim waist, whereas a high rise bikini bottom can make slim legs look longer and hold in a less taut stomach. Those of you who think I’m mad to suggest that many of us can wear bikinis may feel that a tankini is safer option. My only word of caution would be that often these garments ride up and bring more attention to your abdomen. Yes they can hide stretch marks but only if you’re very slim (and stretch marks look better once they’re tanned anyway).

If you’re wary of wearing a bikini the most scary aspect will be walking around – once you’re lying flat wobbly bits can be stretched out, and your eyes are closed or focused on a book so you don’t feel that your figure’s being judged. Make sure you have something pretty to wear over your bikini – the days of wrapping a towel round yourself are long gone. If you opt for a sarong make sure that you tie it in a V, slung to the side so that your abdomen is lengthened and a waist is created. Tying it straight across your tummy brings attention to this area as well as cutting your body length in half. A simple strap empire-style sundress has the power to look chic and is easy to slip on and off. Avoid kaftan's that go below the knee, the shapeless long aspect of this garment will be easy to wear but has the “sack of tatties” effect. If you wear a caftan ensure that it stops above the knee and look for a fabulous bag that has the wow factor – kaftan's rarely do.

My final vital tip is to wear a great necklace! To bring the attention away from your lower body and up to your face you can’t beat a necklace and earrings. Big earrings can look over dressed with swimwear on anyone over 25, so consider wearing smaller stud earrings and wear a fabulous necklace. Prepare your poolside look now and don’t give it another thought on holiday.

Family ties

So America was a no go, but all hope is not lost,I am moving to Pretoria next year and I am going to study journalism and Move into my own apartment yay. America would have been fun but I am much more excited about this. My excitement was short lived because my older sister had to add some input and say that she doesn't want me to move to Pretoria and that it is too dangerous. It really upset me because she said that she would only help with payments for my studies if I went to UCT. I  mean come on really, there is crime everywhere and if you want to hide from it you might as well not live. I just wish she had not phoned my mother and now my Mum seems to not like the idea of me moving. Is it that bad in Pretoria, I need answers.


On the bright side summer is on its way, which means new bikini's and summer clothes, (YAY) beach and tanning I have waited to long for this. I have a wedding in December and my birthday in November and thats not all my older brother and his girlfriend are coming down in October and wait that's not all I meet my boyfriends aunt in November too. Lot of things to look forward to.

Skinny jeans

why are girls so obsessed with having the skinniest body and not eating that absolutely amazing piece of cake. Why can't we just enjoy life and eat the cake too. I have been living this whole year to worried that I cannot eat certain things because I wont have that models body. But why? Why do we want to look like people that we are not, why can't we just love the body we have and look after it and not try to change it? I know that I love chocolate, anything to do with chocolate I love... Yummy. But I hate feeling guilty with every bite. Why can't I just eat that chocolate Mcflurry in peace without that little voice saying to me. " your going to have to run that off" or " oooo fatty" for once I want to be able to oder whatever I want and not feel like a fatty. Girls lets just love ourselves please and stop worrying and enjoy the little things in life

Shop shop shop till you drop… No really

So you are having a bad day, nothing is going your way, your hair is not doing as you say, you think you look hideous in everything that you wear and so after trying on almost every outfit you have you just slip on your black fat day pants and black shirt and heels and tie your hair up, oh crap you’re late, no time for make up, maybe you will get lucky and be able to do a quick fix in the bathroom before any meetings.  As you park the car your Blackberry beeps and your boss is BBMing you already about your next task. Great the day has officially begun, and could it get any worse? Well the answer is yes, days like these usually only get worse and then we feel so upset at the end of the day that we usually cancel that date with the girls for drinks and just go home and end up having a fight with the boyfriend because he thinks you’re in a bad mood and askes if it is that time of the month. On days like these we need to stay calm and breathe and definitely not cancel the drinks with the girls. Better yet go shopping and buy yourself those shoes that you have had your eye on for the past couple of weeks.

Studies have shown that shopping really does make women happy, it releases endorphins and shopping can make your life span longer. Well I won’t agree with that.

 I know that I have felt it, when I am having a really bad day and I go to the mall to unwind, I leave with a big smile on my face. Especially when I get something that looks fabulous on me. One of my mottos in life is that when you’re down buy shoes, because clothes don’t always fit, food just makes you fat but shoes are forever, a girl’s best friend.  Remember the feeling you get when you try on an outfit and you turn around and see yourself in the mirror and it takes your breath away, wow I look good, and at that moment every bad thing that happened during the day disappeared and you were happy again, now just a quick stop at the mall bathrooms to change into that amazing outfit and go for drinks with the girls.